“You’ll be able to’t let Florida make well being selections for the whole nation!” Colbert mentioned. “That’s not good ― the Florida meals pyramid is simply gator jerky and meth!”
Colbert famous that the decide mentioned masks clear nothing however “at most, it traps virus droplets.”
“That’s the masks’s job, you dummy! So my droplets don’t get on you,” he mentioned. “That’s like saying, ’This diaper is ineffective. Each time I put one on my child, it fills up with poop.’”
Colbert then mentioned a flight the place the captain dropped the masks guidelines whereas within the air and included a message of congratulations.
“Congratulations is an odd approach to announce the lifting of a security measure,” he mentioned, then pretended to supply a flight announcement of his personal:
“That is your captain talking. Congrats, the masks mandate has been repealed. Whereas we’re at it, I’ve turned off the seatbelt signal, disabled the bathroom smoke detector, and we’re internet hosting a knife combat within the cockpit. Cabin door is closed and locked, there isn’t any escape, benefit from the ‘Starvation Video games.’ Could the chances be ever in your favor.”
“The Late Present” additionally supplied an up to date tackle the Kool & The Gang music “Celebration” after the masks ruling: