A man claimed that he “had it” with his girlfriend after she missed his father’s birthday celebration.
She explained that painful period cramps kept her from the celebration, but he claimed she should just toughen up.
The man was frustrated after his ‘whiny’ girlfriend skipped his dad’s birthday dinner because of her period cramps.
Sharing his story to the subreddit, AITA, the man revealed that he had been dating his girlfriend, Anna, for about a year, and it had been smooth sailing except when it was her “time of the month.”
“Anna always whines and cries about how much pain she’s in during her period,” the man wrote.
The man called her overdramatic and explained that since he grew up with two sisters and a mother, he knew what menstruation was supposed to feel like. “Some throbbing, maybe some occasional cramps, nothing a hot bath and some Motrin can’t fix,” the man proclaimed. “But when it comes to Anna, she just constantly complains, to the point where we can’t do ANYTHING while she’s on her period because she’s just constantly complaining.”
One day, the man and Anna had plans to get together with his family for his father’s birthday. However, Anna was suffering from debilitating period pain and said that she was unable to make it. “At this point, I had it with her constant excuses with something that happens to literally EVERY female,” the man shared.
He told Anna that she needed to learn how to “bear the pain like an adult” and claimed that “in the real world,” no one was going to cater to her because of some “little cramps.”
“We got into a little back and forth and she says I’m being rude and heartless,” the man wrote. While he admitted that he was a little harsh, he believed that he had to be the one to tell Anna that her pain wasn’t that bad so that she would “get it together.”
People pointed out that the man had no right to undermine her discomfort.
“Unless you have experienced it YOURSELF, you have no idea what periods are like,” one Redditor commented. “You are invalidating her, her feelings, her pain, and her knowledge of her own body!”
“You’re horribly ignorant to the realities that women go through. I highly doubt Anna likes groveling in pain for a significant portion of her life,” another user wrote. “Telling her to ‘get over it’ will do nothing but make her feel [worse].”
While some are lucky enough to get by with few symptoms and minor cramps, others have underlying conditions, such as PCOS and endometriosis, that intensify the pain of menstrual cramps.
Research revealed by Professor of Reproductive Health at University College London, John Guillebaud, found that period pain could be as severe as a heart attack. “Men don’t get it and it hasn’t been given the centrality it should have,” he told the Independent.
Period pain is not limited to just lower belly cramps. Women can also experience severe headaches, back pain, and leg pain as well as symptoms including nausea, vomiting, mood swings, bloating, and fatigue. Basically, getting your period is anything but a walk in the park.
While men may never be able to understand the pain that comes with menstruation, that doesn’t mean that they cannot help their female partners while they’re going through it.
They could run a hot bath, offer to pick up necessities, or simply be a source of comfort.
They do not, and should not, ever make assumptions that periods “aren’t that bad” and that they should “pull themselves together.”
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.